New Book Reframes Celibacy as Pleasure, Resistance, and Ritual

A new memoir-guide by filmmaker Ami explores celibacy as a restorative, intentional practice rooted in sovereignty and self-determination.

Washington, DC – PAUSE, Pleasure & Peace: Decolonizing Celibacy has officially been published, offering a timely and transformative reexamination of celibacy as a conscious pathway to pleasure and peace rather than a moral mandate or deprivation.

Blending memoir and guide, PAUSE, Pleasure & Peace challenges dominant cultural narratives around sex, relationships, productivity, and desirability, inviting readers to explore celibacy as a source of pleasure and resistance. Written for the celibacy-curious, the abstinent, and those seeking a more intentional relationship with their bodies and desires, the book functions as a deprogramming tool. It encourages reflection, sovereignty, and pleasure beyond performance or expectation, especially for those recovering from burnout, over-sexualization, relationship trauma, or chronic self-abandonment. Through personal storytelling, cultural critique, and guided reflection questions, PAUSE, Pleasure & Peace creates space for readers to redefine intimacy on their own terms.

Rather than positioning celibacy as permanent or prescriptive, the book frames it as a PAUSE, an opportunity to listen, heal, and reorient toward peace, decolonization, and self-trust.

PAUSE, Pleasure & Peace: Decolonizing Celibacy is now available on Barnes & Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pause-pleasure-peace-ami-the-celibate-sex-goddess/1148865853)

Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/PAUSE-Pleasure-Peace-Decolonizing-Celibacy-ebook/dp/B0FMPLZ7YC)

Everand

https://www.everand.com/book/963594683/PAUSE-Pleasure-Peace-Decolonizing-Celibacy

Indigo

https://www.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/ami-the-celibate-sex-goddess

Smashwords

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1920717

Statement: PAUSE Why Ami? Why PAUSE? Why Now?

For over thirty years, I navigated celibacy, primarily with the intent to repair myself and return to a stasis—a moment before the hurt: loss, betrayal, or assault—or to reset to some form of religious or social doctrine of worthiness and grace. In recent years, I stopped using the terms celibacy and sexual abstinence when referring to my practice. Instead, I began developing and practicing PAUSE, an intentional, pleasure-filled redirection of sexual or sacral energy centered on authenticity, pleasure, and peace.

Now, many are choosing celibacy, seeking recovery, productivity, and clarity. Perhaps it is the pendulum swinging away from hookup culture. However, conventional practice can sometimes lead to unintended consequences, even resulting in difficult partnerships. PAUSE provides the celibate-curious, the actively abstinent, and those in marginalized communities a practice intentionally disconnected from purity culture. Unlike the doctrine of behaving “good” for a reward from society, a higher power or in an afterlife or after an endured partnership, PAUSE is a necessary sex-positive approach that reframes the experience around pleasure and decolonization.

Unaddressed emotional repression and a lack of self-knowledge can erode our ability to set and respect boundaries, build self-esteem, and achieve self-actualization. This reality often stems from early-life emotional wounds. Amid a rapidly expanding media landscape—with platforms that can undermine self-worth, block awareness, and breed extremism—connecting with our authentic selves and moving through the world intentionally is crucial. PAUSE provides the awareness, reflection, and tools needed to deprogram, strengthen intrapersonal relationships, and cultivate more pleasure and peace.

Author Bio

T. Ami Upshur is an award-winning filmmaker, actor, writer, and entrepreneur whose work explores intimacy, power, and selfhood. As a “celibacy decolonizer”,she creates transformative spaces through film, writing, and workshops that foster creativity, personal growth, and authentic connection. Her signature programs include PAUSE, a pleasure-filled approach to celibacy, and Oasis Workshop for Women!, a documentary filmmaking workshop that focuses on narrative and reflection within Black womanhood, sovereignty, and community.

With a background in sociology, communication, film, and media, Ami’s storytelling interrogates narratives around gender, family, race, and politics. She emphasizes truthful storytelling, intentional communication, and mindfulness as tools for individual and collective liberation.

A Washington, D.C. native with Southern U.S. roots, Ami draws on mysticism, Southern Gothic, dark comedy, and history to shape her artistic perspective. Her academic credentials in communication and film, earned from Trinity Washington University and American University, ground her distinct voice and critical approach.

For media inquiries, review copies, or interview requests:

info@sheunshushed.space

https://bio.site/PAUSE_Pleasure_Peace