Modern relationships face unprecedented challenges. Fast-paced lifestyles, digital communication, and shifting social norms often leave couples feeling disconnected. Many people struggle to find the right tools to maintain intimacy and build a strong foundation. Without proper guidance, even the most promising partnerships can easily fall apart under everyday pressures.
Author, actor, and thought leader Leandro Taub aims to solve these challenges with his latest book, Romance: A Guide to Building Healthy, Lasting Relationships. Drawing on his extensive experience, Taub offers practical strategies for couples to strengthen their bonds and navigate complex emotional landscapes. In this interview, we discuss the core principles of his new book, the common pitfalls in modern dating, and how to cultivate a truly lasting connection.
Q: What inspired you to write Romance and tackle the complexities of modern relationships?
Leandro Taub: What inspired me to write Romance was, above all, my own failure.
For almost two decades, I experienced what looked like success in relationships from the outside. But in reality, it was a profound failure when it came to building a family or creating one healthy, lasting, and truly alive partnership.
One day, I woke up with the painful realization that I wasn’t building the kind of relationship I truly wanted. That moment changed everything. I told myself, I have to study this.
I went to yeshiva and immersed myself in learning the tools—primarily from Judaism and the Torah—for building a healthy relationship. My intention wasn’t to write a book. It was to grow as a person and develop the wisdom and skills I needed to build a loving and lasting partnership.
As I studied, I filled notebook after notebook with reflections, ideas, and practical insights. At some point, it occurred to me that this material might also help others. Sharing those notes eventually became Romance.
Q: Many couples struggle with communication in the digital age. How does your book address this specific disconnect?
Leandro Taub: That’s an excellent question.
I believe the first step in building a relationship is through words. Before the heart, before the intellect, and certainly before the physical dimension, there is the spoken word. Words are something that come from within us, leave our inner world, and reach another person. Through words we get to know each other. Through words we gradually reveal what we think, what we feel, and who we are.
That’s why healthy communication is so essential in a relationship.
Today, that communication may begin digitally. Many wonderful relationships start through messages or online, and I think that’s perfectly fine. But eventually, it has to evolve into real conversation—into the spoken word, if possible.
The key is to create a space where both people can openly share what truly matters to them: their values, their goals, their dreams, and the things they love. That’s how two people slowly discover one another—not only what the other person does, but what they think, what they feel, and who they are.
That’s how a relationship should begin, and it’s also how it should continue throughout life.
Words are so powerful that, in the Torah, God creates the world through speech. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. It reminds us that words don’t simply describe reality—they create it. The same is true in a relationship.
Q: You emphasize the importance of building a healthy foundation. What is the first step a couple should take to actively strengthen their bond?
Leandro Taub: The foundation of a healthy relationship is sharing the values that matter most.
A couple should have a shared vision of what they are building together. That includes their beliefs, their views on family, whether they want children, the life they want to create, and the kind of relationship they want to have.
When two people share these fundamental values and align around common goals, something very important happens: they begin to become a team.
From that point on, they are no longer just two individuals walking side by side. They are working together toward the same future, supported by the same core values. Those shared values become the foundation that sustains the relationship through both the joyful moments and the difficult ones.
Q: As an actor and thought leader, how does your creative background influence your perspective on intimacy and connection?
Leandro Taub: I think acting has helped me express ideas more clearly and communicate them in a way that people can truly understand. Creativity has become a tool that allows me to share a message more effectively and, hopefully, inspire others through it.
But if I’m answering your question honestly, I don’t think my creative background gave me a healthier perspective on intimacy or connection. In fact, I think it often did the opposite.
Acting and creativity didn’t teach me how to build a healthy relationship. If anything, they sometimes got in the way. What truly educated me was the Torah, Judaism, and, above all, humility—the willingness to throw away what I thought I knew and say, “Let’s learn from the people who have been doing this well for thousands of years.”
That shift changed my understanding of relationships far more than any artistic experience ever did.
Q: What is the most common misconception people have about long-term relationships today?
Leandro Taub: I think the biggest misconception is the ideology of love itself—the belief that if two people love each other, that alone is enough to build a healthy, lasting relationship.
To me, that’s a naïve idea.
If we step away from poetic language and look at relationships objectively, the answer becomes much clearer. If you ask people what matters more for a relationship to last over time—love or healthy behavior—I think most would answer healthy behavior.
Someone who behaves poorly, who is disrespectful, selfish, or emotionally destructive, is unlikely to sustain a healthy partnership, no matter how much love exists.
So I believe love is the most common misconception about long-term relationships. Love is beautiful, and it’s important that it exists. But it is far from enough. A lasting relationship requires character, discipline, shared values, and the daily practice of treating each other well.
Q: What is the single most important piece of advice you want readers to take away from Romance?
Leandro Taub: The most important message I hope readers take away from Romance is that it is possible to build a healthy, lasting relationship.
But we shouldn’t expect to build one by improvising.
If we want to become a great musician, entrepreneur, physician, or athlete, we study. We learn from those who have mastered the craft. Yet when it comes to relationships—one of the most important aspects of our lives—we often assume that love alone will teach us everything we need to know.
I don’t believe that’s true.
I believe we should study how to build a healthy relationship, and just as importantly, we should study from the right sources. We should learn from traditions, teachers, and examples that have helped people build strong families and lasting marriages over generations.
A great relationship is not simply found. It is learned, built, and cultivated.
This conversation highlights the intentional effort required to sustain a healthy partnership. Relationships do not thrive on autopilot. They require constant nurturing, active listening, and mutual respect. Taub’s insights remind us that while the challenges of modern romance are real, they are entirely manageable with the right mindset and tools.
As society continues to evolve, the need for deep, meaningful connections will only grow stronger. Couples who invest time in understanding their relational dynamics will build more resilient futures together. Leandro Taub’s Romance provides the essential roadmap needed to navigate these complexities and achieve lasting love.
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